| the Cutting Edge
(52% dark, 50% spontaneous, 36% vulgar) | your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK
Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.
Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi
The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -
If you're interested, try my latest:
The Terrorism Test
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My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 49% on darkness | | You scored higher than 63% on spontaneity | | You scored higher than 46% on vulgarity |
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| yes I cannot sleep, the reason I do not know but for the last 4 days I have had in total about 12 ~ 16 hours sleep.
I went to bed last night at about 6am I got up at 10am
I have a very wird comversation with a prosepctive employer today due to this ... I called the job he was offering manuable. it's is stange the words that come out when one is not thinking. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Iron & Wine Woman King [EP] | | Time: | 09:33 pm |
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| bla, unempolyment, it's a bad sign when you cannot be entertained with out money,
so the long awaited update is not going happen :-) so there
been unmployed now for a full month, starting to run out of money I may have to find a new job but I'm not to keen about it,
donna visted me first time I seen her in over a year and I got one days notice that she was flying in :-) she always had a flare for the dramatic,
she broke up with one BF and is all ready with another, the prevously she was engaged to be married, and now she recons to be gay. she found some mags and heard some rumors, eh sounds about right I never liked the guy. I met him once he was a lot older that her and was dressed as a teenager, I reconed he was just some old git trying to recapture his youth. "your only as young as the woman you feal" :-)
she hooked up with this new bloke with who is real RA head, who is a plays gutare in the pubs where she lives, when will that woman get some sence and stop bouncing form rebound to rebound.
I'm suposed to vist her in her parents place in donegal but I realy don't know, If that is such a good Idea I have some very mixed feelings towards her. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Tags: | dreams | | Current Music: | weeds sound tackl | | Subject: | dreams again | | Time: | 02:19 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/bitospud/courier/black/drunk.gif) drunk |
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| what are we, mermoryies, toughts, nature, nuture,
why do we aspire to the fantistical, we over play the plan, but at the same time we resolve our selves to the conditions of our lives,
will there ever be a time when aspiration can gained or is the dream the wish the falsehood.
I suppose that the time is now, and that the conditions are alway primed that the will is weak.
opportunity equal to desire :-) | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | I haven't journlised in quite a while, and I have no intension of updating all of what has happended, but I will be doing some kind montage later this week I've yet to get the the music down for it yet . :-) | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I'm starting to hate my new job
it's not the work itself or the people,
its that fact that I don't get a moments rest, I seam to be alway chasing some problem or dealing with an imagerancy, today I'm told to geta machine ready for a demo that is going on tomorrow, I get the machine ready and setit up, then I'm told 2 hours before I go home that they need it set up to would with anouther peice of equipment, that no one in the job has set up before and someone has taken the install manuals,
when I started in the job this was cool
but ive been there a while I know that back gound story now.
the decision is made normaly with out anny conconlation by one of the MD's, they take the manuals to read over them, since they want to sell this peice of equipment, they leave the manuls in their car.... office, and forget about the whole thing. one day before the demo they have a meeting, they then at this late stage remember their plan and dump it on my head to get it working.
I like to think about problems and then act,
I spent a long time, training my self to behave in that way.
althout this has become a charactor flaw, well there is the study of a situation, and then there is procrastination.
and when I get drunk, i digress to my impatient nature and realy fuck thing up. but any way I was on a rant
two of my bosses expect imidate answers and for me be doing stuff at full whack all the time. I am growing very quickly tired of this behaviour, and I think it's time to be consider chalking this one up to experince, salvage a few old plans, orginse my retreat, and various other sayings | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| So I kinda settled in to my new job. It's in security(of a sort), well I fix PC's I was sold the job as something completely different. more networks, large data storage and documentation what the job actually entails is PC maintenance, and Phone support for PC maintenance, saying the some aspects of the job are quite challenging,
the PC maintenance side of thing is very much refreshing, the whole hands on is very much up my street. I like it a lot, I know it's going to become boring after a while but for the time being I'm having fun.
I also got to train people which was a bit never wrecking but good, OK I was only in the door (2 weeks) and when The said that I had training I naturally enough reckoned that It was I that being trained, but no I was dong the training, I had to wright up the course for a 4 hour class and then deliver the course with one days notice, OK so it wasn't that hard it was just PC maintenance (hardware) , basic use of portioning tools, how to install with Norton ghost :-) (yes yes you do put the disk in the drawer) and some debugging checks that can be done.
My job is quite stress full compared to Eircom and I always end up very tired after it which is no good state to be in I don't know how long I can last like that and I thing I'm going quite mad being the I spend much time working by my self. And my bosses yes I have a few or I have one but they won't own up to it, preferring me to the lead by the multitude. One of the major good points is that I get respect something that I never felt when with Eircom. I suppose you only feel respect when you do something worth while and then get thanked for it. I was thanked in Eircom but I never felt the things that I had done were actualy worth while.
I kinda miss the social life of my old job, the my new company is quite formal in it approach and that does lend it self to a good social atmosphere. the fact is I burnt some bridges before leaving Eircom, I said some things that I reckoned needed to be said and now I'm not so sure (my methods where alcohol and mobile txting %-! ), now I just don't feel welcome to go out drinking with them any more. I do prefer a nice clean break, the kinda that forces you never to return (I'm a habitual backslider). Max that I would keep contact is one or two people. | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| back on the internet. was off-line for like what seamed like for ever,
my laptop is so so dead
I had to setup my media station as a desktop. got an old CRT monitor which is now perched on top of it dwarfing the little mini-itx box, like some kinda computerised prey.
I got a linksys WMP54Gv4 and a DVD+R RW, to help with the conversion.
the wifi card which will is natively linux compatable which will make it a hell of alot easier to set this box up on slack. but before I start messing about again I'm going to ghost it all, I now have all the applictaion s that I would normaly use, windeos services have been reduced to those that are actualy nessary. and all look good.
I'm planing to get a nice monitor, TFT 15" wide screen with TV support. The prices on these have gone up in the last short while (well actually the avitablity of cheep ones has died off). I'm planing to wait a while may be a month or so before I purchase.
need to get a new kb and mouse somting laptop like, but I've yet to find somting that appels.
Oh the new computer is called rapture,
orac is dead rapture lives. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| my computer is dieing,,,
it looks like the Mother board is on the way out :-( | | comments: Leave a comment |
| 2nd last day working of Eircom
I'm intending to get very drunk on firday night at my leaving party
hopfully I won't embarresss myself too much :-)
going to work for scott and oshea .... they do CCTV systems the reason i went for the job was the vairation of tech that I would be dealing with. I was so baored in eircom.
oh for the firefly fans out there
http://www.darkhorse.com/search/search.php?sstring=Joss+Whedon%2C+Brett+Mathews
this is a series of comics that depect the events that happen in time between the TV series and the movie | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| network in job ..... intermi
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signal lost
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| I have always been one not to define myself to well, I have never felt that I have ever fitted well into a click or organisation of any kind.
I suppose I have never felt like I belong to any thing.
It's something that I yearn being part of a society or group for but there is also a part of me that likes being away form all being alone, distant.
I have always considered by self a outsider, well more of a fringe rider, hiding on the edges of groups being an acquaintance rather than a friend. I know very few people that I would call friend
In any social circle I say on the edge, I don't live to give my phone number to the cord members I seek out the new people trying to join the group, Invite them in and then abandon them to the mob.
I nearly always associate my self with the weird or the socially damaged, those who get rejected form the party. Actually at parties them selves I find my self wandering about having small conversations avoiding been bogged down in long conversation. I normally ending up in a side room with the smokers or on the stairs (or other in between place) waxing philosophically with who ever will argue with me.
I also find myself attracted to women who behave in anti social way. And typically the more erratic, self deceptive or down right isolationist their behavior the more I want to spend time with them.
It has now got to a stage where within a few moments of meeting them I will know if their mess up or not.
I find that I am always the first to defend the behavior of the social reject.
“Ah there not too bad once you get to know them” or “I don't find him too bad, yea their a little bit geeky/weird/annoying but aren't we all” when someone it complaining about a conversation they had with a person.
I suppose that my defense of them is only relay a defense of my self. Since I would normally be cast with the same brush.
I find it's a lot easier to talk to a person that is rejected form the group.
I myself am an Alt country/ Gothic fan(real goth not rock music and make up.... you know it it's that depressing stuff) , and some of the music I listen to even form my self I would say that's weird.
I don't share this music with anyone. When questioned about what music I like I avoid the topic, fane forgetfulness, or blurt out a list of band names in enthusiasm to scare off the questioner in hopes that they will never ask me that question again.
I some one queries me for a loan of that music , I will promise to lend it but never actually give them the music, it not that I don't trust friend to take care of the CD, It's just that I know it will weird them out, I may lend music to people of equally weird music tastes but only if they have mention the musician to me never normally the other way around .
I don't particular like the way there is a specific pecking order in any group, most groups behave the same ( most people behave the same). A group can be made up of complete strangers, but people are so used their specific roles, that when you transpose them to a new group the assume the same position with in the group. I suppose that I do this also but that is a different story.
It's not that I hate those in the click, (I know people who hate clicks thats not me) it's just that I don't belong there, and it's not as if I can't be a good friend, I will be helpful form time to time, I'm honest and I like to give, I just tire easily of groups. I see they way the group forms it's like a matrix of first impressions and it's always so ridged. People become roles not personalities I suppose my role will always be the outsider. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Want vs need.
I did a few of those personalty tests and got to thinking about my relationships with women
Desire into Obsession.
This for me is a very fine line, both in my behavior or that of a partner.
I if want someone and that someone wants me then its all good but, if that person shows the a need for me, a need for my company and expresses that emotion openly, I am completely turned off.
I have can be very quite clingy. Before I have sex with a woman I am detached and sometimes a little bit fear full, during sex I tend to lose my personality inhibitions and become a lot more emotional and lose my defenses, I still don't need in that sense, but the aspect that I show openly changes and I relax with them a lot and in fact I get I very good high form it. This can then scare them as they see my change in personalty and run away when the morning comes . Maybe this is subconsciously purposeful, I don't know.
I can trace the root of this behavior back to my teen years, I was very obsessive and pining away for a girl was very much the norm for me. I had a facial disfigurement for the majority of my teen years “ I was missing teeth, well half of my top incisor, which of course meant that I would not be even looked at by even the most desperate of girls, I got my tooth properly caped and some other dental work when I went to collage ( the old cap would fall normally fall out after three or so months).
My behavior toward the opposite sex was still the same, I would live to fail, preferring the comfort of failure and siting around listening to the Leonard Cohen or Red House Painters and dreaming of acceptance and the perfect love.
I bumbled along not really getting to know the girls that I was with, just an aspect of fantasy love that never relay exists
I was falling to repeating patten of obsessive love followed by personal insecurity, driving the girl away from me by a combination of unfounded jealousy and random rejection and finally back to the comfort of rejection and self loathing.
I first woman I actually truly loved was Sarah, we stayed together long enough so I was able to feel normal with her and got to know her. But I was out of work and a little but depressed she stared to blame her self of my perturbed nature, she became very obsessive, and quite scary.
It then ended with her and found it very hard to get into a relationship after that. I now know that I should have been more sympathetic, like she was with me.
The point of it now is that I find my self in some what of oxymoron. I always want what I cannot have. I find a girl or a girl finds me { not so much now as in my youth :-) }. I get to know her, I fall in love, I over do it, then if she doesn't get messed up that, I lose complete interest in love, this has happened on several incidents. for a while this was alright but now it just getting on my nerves and I just sabotage my self out if spite.
And this is not to say all relationships that I have been with are like this, just the highly emotional ones,
So now I generally attracted by very emotional women ( normally red heads). Or the exact opposite cold calculating generally unemotional women.
This entry is well away of the topic I was planing to wright about I was going to do something on the nature of what is classed as want and what is classed as need, by the two opposite sexes ah well may be another day.
A bit of retrospection every now and the is not too bad. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I can't sleep and I can eat,
I feel anger yet i don't feel anger,
i feel love yet i don't feel love.
i'm far to old for this. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Request the appearance of David Hasselhoff aka The Hoff to appear at the Oxegen 2006 Festival.
David Hasselhoff Bio:
A handsome blue-eyed Baltimore native, is one of the most recognized faces on television throughout the world. Named one of "TV's Ten Most Powerful Stars" by TV Guide, and "Most Watched TV Star" by the Guinness Book of World Records, he is also one of the busiest. Hasselhoff is not only the star and an executive producer of the hit syndicated series Baywatch, but is also a director, an accomplished singer, and popular international recording artist. Moreover, he has recently added 'Broadway star' to his long list of achievements.
Hoffesgen 2006 Petition | | comments: Leave a comment |
| A few years ago, I spent sometime in the company of dreamers. I group of people who had addictions that ruled there lives, people how sought escape form the despair of their dull and dreary lives with the use of dream.
They would use television drugs and greed to show them their dreams.
They would collect the dreams so that when they meet they would discuss them and share they in a weird fanatical conversations.
The would avoid conversations on other topics having very little to discuss.
I hear them talk of their dreams was so shame full in it's way, aspirations that were so beyond their capabilities.
The wishes of our materialistic society the kind of considerations that only apply to the 1% of the population, that have over 50% of the wealth.
The dreams were not fantastical, psychedelic or erotic but were specific material.
They would sit about and discuss the things they would do when they would win the lotto, or when what ever get rich quick seam that they were pondering over today.
There is noting truly wrong in there actions, Indeed it is quite common to consider what one would do when the value of something is not measured in little pieces of paper anymore.
The issue that gets me bloging is the way that they believed in it.
That it was no longer just a simple dream that held a universal entertainment value but something that required constant contemplation.
They shaped there lives so that attaining the dream it self was the main focus and not attaining the thing with that the dream showed them.
They organised their lives so there was noting left to distract them, giving up or losing their jobs, dropping out of collage, living in spartan accommodation, and disassociating them selves from people that did not follow their rituals.
Do people require beliefs? Do we all need in someway to be fanatical over something, be it music follow, a collector of some kind, football fan, a priest, avenger or drug addict. What happens when a person stop seeking that obtainable goal. Do they become followers of dreams. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
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